Have you ever went to the mall or to class or anywhere in your life and found this person who was glowing with confidence that you could not stop looking at them and how they conducted themselves? Some of us go to an extent of staring at those people and forgeting ourselves in their confidence. You and I staring at the person, you find that we are the low self-esteemed kind of people. Some of us after looking at that person we envy them, some we get jelous, some we wish to be like them and some if we have that previledge we befriend ourselves with them. Fact of the matter is, everyone wants to be confident. Then why is it difficult to have confidence?
Self-confidence is a combination of self-esteem and self-efficacy, these two are very important to humanity. Self-efficacy is the internal sense, or belief that we can accomplish a variety of goals throughout life while Self-esteem is believing we are generally competent in what we do, and that we deserve to be happy in life. If you can check this definitions, they all sum up the fact that, it all begins inside. Your friends telling you you have a nice hair while you don’t think so will not make you like the hair. So confidence begins inside. It will be difficult for one to have confidence if they lack self-efficacy and self-esteem. In life problems are there to be overcome, so how does one overcome lack of self-confidence? I mean it is an internal thing. How do you beat this because it begins with you as an individual. Here are some tips which I have gathered up for you:
1 You can start by grooming yourself. One may say come on, really? Yes self-grooming, it is very important. Wearing your hair neatly, looking after those nails and dressing up in a way that makes you feel good (this is the part that is very crucial in one’s life because when you look good you feel good), that will go a long way. It will stop you from complaining and embracing yourself instead.
2 Think positive. There is nothing more attractive than a positive person about life, everybody cling to such a person.You choose what you magnify with your eyes and mind. You know that there are positive things that happen in your life, think about those and let them make you smile. those things will in turn turn you into a positive thinker and will also eliminate those negative thoughts one by one. I know we all want negative thughts gone right? Right.
3 Be preparared. “Are you serious?” someone may say. Yes preparation is very key. For example, you are a student and you are having a presentation in class the following week, if you prepare and get your facts straight, there is no way you will be scared to go to the front. You will actually want to show people what you got. So preparing yourself before approaching anything including an interview for a job, gives you confidence on its own. So go on and prepare.
4 Give. Yes you need to give. It can be your time, your money if you have , your hands (washing for the elderly) and many more. Giving make you learn to put other people’s needs, safety and security first. It also get rid of that selfishness you generated from complaining as low self-esteemed person. You feel like spiderman or batman or any other hero you may know. You will even start feeling good about youself, who wouldn’t want to feel good about themselves?
5 Stop comparing yourself with others. You are you, you are unique, you have talents that the world is waiting to see and only you have them. Take pride in the things you do and invest in them. Do not look down on your talents by comparing them with those of others, it will not help, you will only get crushed and depressed. You can look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself of those beautiful eyes you have, or that mouth you have, anything. You will start to realise that you are pretty or handsome or beautiful.
6 You want it, do it. You want abs?, exercise.You want a flat belly? exercise. Ge it, you must do it. There is no one who will get them for you. This may sound harsh but if you do not do it, you will never have it. You want good marks? put in the hard work in studying and consulting with those who can help you understand better. Do not wait and allow yourself to think, just do it. You are able and only you can do it.
7 Know what your principles are and live by them. You can’t afford to compromise these ones, they are very important. Living by your principle gives you direction about where your life is going and this in turn eliminate confusion. You will not be pushed evrywhere by the wind and that will make you firm and graceful.
8 Set small goals and achieve them. You want to climb Mt Everest? start by climbing the nearest mountain in where you live, it will boost your confidence as a mountain climber. The other thing to do is to write those goals down and tick them when you have completed them, you can look at them afterwards and celebrate those you ticked as completed to be part of your achievements. A little does go a long way you know.
9 Socialise. You will not make friends locked up in your room and you will always feel left out when there is gathering and everybody is talking while you are scared to say a word. When your classmates or colleagues make plans to go to watch movies or go to the park, go and have fun with them. You will not just be a people’s person overnight, it does not work that way. Do not lock yourself up from the world.
10 One step at a time. Rememeber to do the above tips one step at a time so that when one of them does not work out you will remind yourself that self-confidence does not grow overnight, it needs work. Remeber also in that moment of disappointment that you are almost there and you just need to take few more steps.
Remeber, you work to have that confidence. Nobody is born with it because if it was so we would all have it. Do not beat yourself up, have fun and enjoy your life. Yours is to rejoice and be glad as the word of God say, “This is the day that the Lord has made and you shall be glad and rejoice in it”. So I say rejoice!
Stay loving, stay loved. Stay blessing, stay blessed.