poetry by Harvey 2

I wish I did not wish

Be careful what you wish for.

Been there but I regret my wish.

As a child it was my wish to know my father

I thought the pain of not having a father will be erased But nah

I furthered the pain far beyond my reach

I thought my life was a mess without a father figure.

Only to figure out it was gonna get more mess up

Now am asking the pain for mercy

How I wish I did not wish.

Some stones are better left unturned

All I wanted was the truth

But it was not what I expected

Because it brought me pain

I been trying to figure out how to heal

It brought pains to my mother

It brought pains to my family

It brought pains to those I love

It brought pains to myself,

pain I brought apon my self

Not all fathers that brought a child to the world deserve to be called a father.

By Harvey Nkoana

 

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You said you know me well

And I asked how well do you know me

I was very amazed for you to say you know me

I asked my self how can you know me while I don’t know my self

 

I am a person with many sides

Everyday I discover side a I never knew

I call that self discovery

If you say you know me,

You know the good and happy side of mine

You don’t know the bad and sad side of mine

 

I choose to show people my good and happy side

Because I want them to do the same

Know one knows what I go through when am alone and in my own world

No one knows how anger transform me into a monster

 

Am happy I always manage to go back to the good person I am

I can’t claim I am the one who always manage to make my self happy

But with the mercy of the merciful Lord

Who been good to me since I was born,

I manage.

 

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Caring a lot really does hurt

Caring a lot really does hurt. You realise much and you hurt. Those who are careless always do bad things but because they don’t care they live a light life. Caring is supposed to beautiful but it is funnily not easy and heavy. I don’t want to wear tight fit dresses simply because the belly. You know why, I have seen someone with a flat stomach and realised how gorgeous they looked and that’s it my world fell apart. As for my confidence it was thrown out the window.

Remember that time you stressed because you have a pimple? Where your whole confidence was shaken just because your skin was  not flawless? It’s crazy right but it happens. Rememeber that time you were walking around your university campus during exam time without books and all students were walking around with books and you stressed that you were not studying while others did. You do study but just because a bunch of students were carrying books made you feel like you are not. Some of us can even spot that our belly fat increased by a milimeter.

Caring too much really hurt. This is because when you care , you realise and when you realise something you react to it. I know carrying is good and should be a trait all of us contain but sometimes it does hurt.

Falling in love with my wife

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It was an arranged marriage. He didn’t want her but he married her to obey his dad. He grew up in the the villages and he has been a very good boy. His parents never had trouble raising him. Many boys when they went to city to study, they abandoned their poor, old parents immediately when they found a job. But he came back to build them the biggest house never imagined and took good care of them. He was a modern man though, he did not believe in culture anymore. He had his girlfriend of five years whom he met at university. He hated his dad for planning him a marriage. He decided in his heart that he was going to torture his wife until she files for divorce.

“City girls corrupt our boys, have you seen how Duma behaves, he no longer has any respect for his parents. Children of today are trouble but you my son, you make me very proud” he said to him while they were sitting under a tree in the yard. He smiled, did all they told him just to make his father and mother happy. His younger brother, whom he was taking to the best university in the country was also looking up to him. He wanted to be like his older brother.

The wedding was out of this world. He planned things they had never seen before in the village and everybody spoke about it even after when years have passed. The young man took his wife to his house with family members ushering her in. It was a big house, many thought it was hotel, “hahaha it’s a house”, his father said as his friends seemed confused as to whether they were in a house or hotel. The family and friends who brought the bride to her house, slept over and went on their way the following day.

She had just finished her matric and her results showed she was a university material. She just wanted to go to school, she didn’t want a man yet but she was taught well in carrying out her duties as a wife. To a shock of her life, he sat her down and told her he didn’t love her and that he just married her just because it was an arranged marriage. He also let her know that there was a woman in his life and that she should not be surprised when she comes to the house. He asked her to move to a guest bedroom and she did not have a problem, she did not want him either. She never fought him and all the disrespect he and his girlfriend gave her,  she was just happy to be going to school. She was a future doctor and had to put her energy in the seven years that she had to complete instead of two strangers she did not know.

Moments passed and what they did began to bug her. It was her house. It was her husband. The girlfriend did not belong there. It was wrong of her to wreck her home. She carried her duties in the house and made sure he was well taken care of. She always threw his girlfriend’s clothes outside and told her to go and wash them. The girlfriend was a thing. She had no morals and obviously had no respect. There was a time he was out on a business trip and she came to the house to throw her weight around but she found herself in jail because the wife had called the security company saying there was a thief in her house. The security knew the wife and not the girlfriend of seven years now. Hee husband yelled at her and these days it was so painful. She loved him and his words now hurt.

She sat down thinking and she got very angry. He was an adulterer. He cheated right on her face, he did not deserve her. He slept with her in their bedroom. She never wanted to sleep there ever or even with him. He was filthy.  She stopped doing anything in the house except cooking and washing for herself. She left the dirty dishes on the sink and when they came back expecting to find food, they were welcomed by dirty dishes. Even though he was modern, he expected his love to do woman duties but his love believed in maids. That was the reason their relationship has been on and off for the past five years. The wife got cheeky when summoned to clean up after herself. She mentioned her education and walked out. The house became a mess that the wife wanted to clean up but it was not her house.

She cried every night as she wondered whether she will ever accept him in her life. She did not believe in divorce. The girlfriend did a good job in ruining their relationship by just struggling to wash dishes. He kicked her out and after hours of begging she got nowhere. Nobody was going to buy her fancy clothes, expensive jewellery and take her to luxurious vacation. She sobbed as she walked to catch a cab. Yes, she was told to keep the clothes and jewellery but leave the car behind. She was also told to find an apartment she can afford because he was no longer going to pay for the one he got her. He called an agency to arrange him cleaners and his house was a home after they touched it. He missed her but she only wanted money and not him.

He even forgot there was another woman in the house, his wife. She was always buried in her books and made sure not to spend most of her time in that house. He had never really set his eyes on her. In the midst of his darkest time on a rainy day, she came back from school. He looked at the door ready to kick out the person coming in because he forgot about his wife’s presence. She got in and their eyes met for the first time in their married life. He had never seen something so beautiful. She walked to her room and he was left amazed. He sat down and watched his TV but his mind was far away.

He scaled down his work and was able to see his wife when she left for school and when she came back. He did not know he disgusted her. She greeted him politely and he couldn’t even see the fury raging in her eyes. She was tidying up the house again, washed and cooked for him. He had missed her food. There was just a touch of her beautiful hands in the house and he felt warm. His colleagues were commenting on how he looked good again, his ex-girlfriend could not even iron well he only bought him crazy clothes that found their way out of the house as his wife took over again. She really suited everything about him and he realised that now. She slept in the guest bedroom and had no dream of going back to that bed,she was still hurt but never showed. She made him laugh, calmed him down when work threw him with lemons. He was known to be arrogant and hot tempered by his employees but he was different this days. She was not ready to go to that bedroom but she took good care of her husband.She was truly a good woman as he was planning to ask her to come back to their bed. The one she belong to, the one she never wanted to see herself sleeping in even he bought a new bed. She simply wanted a new house, a house for them and only them.

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Choosy

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He was a very cute face but he lacked muscles and so she did not want him. That one wore baggy layered clothes and that turned her off. He had tattoos all over him and she disliked all men with such, she regarded them as dirty and uncool. As for that one he had the body she wanted but his voice was too soprano for someone with testosterone in him. Oh he sure as needed classes about dress code; he dressed like a hooligan.

Day after day, night after night she was lonely with her list of the traits of the right man. She walked in her suave clothes, with her eyes wide open to Google her potential ‘perfect man’… but her eyes could only spot the negatives. “Maybe if we hooked you up with Pat, he would make such a good man. You are getting old “. She wouldn’t mind him but his job was of lower standard than hers and so she feared disrespecting him.

poetry by Harvey

Grandmother

You gone to soon

You gone without a good bye

All I’m left with are

Memories

Wishes

And hopes

You been there for me since day one.

You been with me while my mother was not there for me

But she was away to be there for me

In a different way ,

She hustled to provide for me

But not only me , for both of us

You been there while I had no father

Because I really did not have a father

I had a father at the age of two

You were my grandmother and my father too

 

All I wish is that I had spent a lot more time with you

Than we did

And I wish to make you proud

Not only you but my parents and all people

But mostly I want to make my self proud

You gone to soon

See you in the next life

Written by Harvey Nkoana

 

Love conquires all.

They Say love conquers it all.

Well I disagree.

Am I allowed to be free?

You will argue or agree.

If love really conquers it all,

Why do we cheat?

If love is so strong as concrete my words would be as sweet as candy.

Why do we cheat?

Why can’t we be loyal?

Why can’t we be faithful?

Why can’t we love our partners?

Or Is it true that there is no love?

It’s just a blueprint that blind hearts and minds.

Why am I crying facing this wall?

I wanna stand tall,

love keeps knocking me down but i crawl.

i wanna stand tall but i fall.

If love really conquers it all,

Why can’t it conquers cheating?

Why can’t it conquers lying?

Why can’t it conquers all the secrecy?

Why can’t it conquers all the divorces?

How many relationships have fallen down the drain?

Why does love drain all our energy?

Why does it leave us heart broken?

Why can’t it conquers all the misery?

And let us leave a happy life?

Why love…

Written by Harvey Nkoana

 

Romeo and Juliet

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It has not rained in a long time. The heat waves were also unbearable in the whole country. They were always reporting about them in the news. Now those two loved to sneak. Their parents still followed old tradition and thought dating was not for high school kids. They sneaked out anyway.

They always met at their favourite corner, cuddled and whispered sweet nothing to each other’s ears. One family in their community was experiencing the most painful time of their life. The good news is that some parts of the country received rain but the storms passed with that family’s roof. Their house was left bare and it was the talk of the village. They did not touch the roof which was lying beside their house. The walls of the  house were still in a good condition.

The night was still windy just as it was the previous night when it rained. The love birds kept each other warm as they spoke about everything and anything. Their parents thought they were sleeping. They spent their windy night in their favourite corner, speaking about everything. The wind became too much and they just remained there in their corner, they couldn’t leave just yet.

The following morning, they were found lying dead just a few centimetres from their favourite corner. One of the women who went early to work found them lying there and screamed. Within a few minutes, community members had gathered there. Their parents got there just to faint in disbelief. They were gone, it was very clear. The paramedics confirmed it and took their parents to the hospital. The roof which was left untouched, got carried by the wind and the love birds were immediately visited by the angel of death.

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Monday took her husband away

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I don’t see him much. I have realised that he comes for a short while and leave. He came home to them just this past Friday. I sat outside the house and had my breakfast. I finished eating and headed straight to social media. I looked to the side just to see her standing at the gate. A few minutes later, the family car was coming out of the garage. A trip to town, I thought.

I went back to my social media and when I looked again he was leaving alone. She was now closing the gate. The main road was just a few meters away from their house and she stood at the gate watching him drive away. She waited until the car disappeared and dragged herself to close the garage door. She looked to my side and saw that I was looking at her and she hurried away.

I could see pain of watching him leave written all over her. Just this Friday he was there and Monday took him away. But he had to leave. They need him working to take care of them. He left for the mine and I wondered what his wife was now doing after hurrying away. Was she sitting down? Was she lying on bed crying? Was she doing house chores? I could not tell, Monday took her husband away.

Hello I am now on My Trending Stories. I think I just published my first article there.

I think I just published a post on my trending srories. I am still lost and don’t know know exactly what is happening but I will understand as time goes on what I am doing. This is my article that I posted there.

HOW I STARTED BLOGGING

I was sitting in the computer and lab, doing my school work and this lady was talking about a blog she had opened. I realised there is something called blogging. I have been reading many blogs but it did not really sink into my mind that I am really reading material from a blog. So in that atmosphere, I kept that blogging thing in my mind and some other time I went to the lab to research about opening my own blog. I found WordPress to be the best medium and before I knew it I was pressing things and boom there was a blog.

I named it memoirs of karynD and from then I started writing my nonsense to show that I have never sat down and asked myself why I wanted to open a blog. I wrote my nonsense for a while, I kept on and without anyone engaging I deleted the blog. It showed I did not want a blog I just heard that girl and then I followed suit. But you see I have always had ideas and ways in which I want to write them down and reading other blogs and checking how they are structured I found that blogging is actually what I have been looking for and I opened a blog again. I gave it my two names Karyndimpho. I think although I have improved a little but I am still all over the place and this is a big sign I still haven’t decided what is my blog all about. Yes I have a clear picture of how my blog should be but I find myself writing about everything and anything. I do want it to be diverse but for now I feel am still all over the place.

The reason why I love blogging

Although I am still all over, I still love blogging because it enables you to post your stories and put the pictures where you want them to be. Social media choose where your pictures are situated and where the words are but in blogging you put your things where you want them to be. I also love the fact that in blogging you get to engage with other bloggers and get advice and guidance from them on some of the things you didn’t know or those you need to improve from. You also get to engage with bloggers.

Anyway before I say much that can be irrelevant, I became a blogger after hearing someone talking about her blog. I don’t know her to this day and I wish I asked her the name of her blog and then checked it out. But I don’t regret it blogging. At least now I can share my thoughts and stories with others and get input from them. I also follow other blogs and I get to read nice things and obviously engage with those bloggers through comments and likes. I still have a lot to learn but I will get there and so far I am happy with the progress. So how did you start blogging?