I think I am obsessed with this life or something (celebville). Funny enough, I don’t want it but I know I want to be a scriptwriter, songwriter, model, fashion designer, actress, director and producer added to my bio. I am already a blogger and I want that chain i mentioned on my name as well. I love to look at those my age to see what they have achieved and when i look at myself, I tend to get sad because I am 20 and I have done nothing related to those things I want to pursue. You look at Zendaya, you look at Natasha Thahane, you look at Keke Palmer, you look at Selene Gomez, those are my favorites but seeing where they are now makes me wonder if I will ever get there. I also love Hilary Duff too.
I am unskilled in many places and I have a lot of stuff to learn but sometimes I doubt whether it is good idea to feed my dream of wanting to be in the media industry. I mean watch this:
I love fashion modeling to come nice but they require that “height” I don’t have. If it was possible to search for it and get it I would do so but I am kinda happy with my height I like it lots. I am 20, I still don’t know how to apply make-up, be it lipstick, mascara, eyebrow pencil, etc. Yes I am a girl by the way and I also don’t put on nail polish, like who does that? Me J When it comes to fashion sense I just don’t cut but I have a lot of fashion thoughts in my head I just don’t get why they are residing in there. Let’s talk about heels, hahaha I need a school I it exists but still in all these negatives, I still dig modeling and I love it so much. I also love fitness modeling but I would need to hit the gym, I am not fit and HEALTHY at the moment because of my eating habits. I keep saying I am waiting for motivation to exercise but will it come? No, I am supposed to be my own motivation. I will need to fix my body (exercise and eat healthy), my face (face what what routines), my hair (I just plait it but no treatment nothing) and yeah my confidence. But whatever, I love modeling so much I will be in a modeling agency someday and in that magazine, billboard and commercials.
Did I say I can’t sew to save my life? Yes. Did I say I can’t draw too? Yes. Man I don’t even know where the thought for design came from but I have ideas in my head and I think I am being left behind because the fashion scene is constantly changing and I also need to trend: in my mind at the moment. So I literally need school to learn everything from scratch but they mostly require mood boards and portfolios which I am afraid may ruin my chances. Yet, the ideas are there in my head. Like in there but hey, you need to prove you can do this. Even though I don’t have a single skill, I am fashion designer; it is just a formality until I am there.
Let’s pass this one. I don’t even have the words to describe how worse it is but I will be in those screens too. I love my faith and enthusiasm for the media industry right now but I will need to put on my socks to can even pull the up.
You know what every day (let’s say when I have data), I am on my instagram looking at these celebrities I adore, love and look up to. But they worked hard to get where they are and I need to do so too. I wish there was a show asking them how they just up and got where they are, like every single detail of the journey, some of us could really learn a thing or two. I just hate the fame part though, where people scream when you are around, the lack of privacy and many other bad things but Maya Angelou say “the worst agony is living with an untold story” so I guess I will find a way to live a normal in those glam and glitter world. I am writing as if I am on a bus going to the places where the media industry is thriving in South Africa but no I am in my room studying for exam.
I love Ntokozo Mbatha, Nqubeko Mbatha, Nandi Madida, Nathasha Thahane, Boity Thulo, Amanda Du pont, Pearl Thusi, Dj Zinhle, Terry Pheto,Gert Coetzee, Nhlnhla Nciza, Selena Gomez, Zendaya Coleman, Hilary Duff, Keke Palmer and Jet Club Magazine. These are the people, fashion designers and magazine that I love in the industry. Who do you love in the industry that you finish your data in the social media going after them? I think I really am so obsessed with these people really. But they motivate me with their work.