I AM NOT A STUDYING MATERIAL

index.jpg

I know this is a crazy thing to say but somewhere somehow I hate studying. Well, et me say I hate studying for my degree. My mind is always in other places I wish I were in. Doing things I dream I could do. I am always distracted by these fantasies but I always find my way back to studying. I even say stuff such as “If you don’t want to do this degree for yourself, at least do it for your mother. She is the one paying all the other expenses your loan can’t cover. So do this for her. I am trying though but every day I am getting bored studying. I don’t picture myself in this work anyway. But I don’t want to come back and repeat what I hate.

You see, I feel it is better to take a gap year than to d what I did: went to university looking for space and ended up doing a degree I didn’t want simply because there was space there. I have held on though, I am even completing but my heart is elsewhere. Movies, Songs, Words and all things fabric. Oh not to forget color. Yeah I want to be a song and script writer in my free space. I want to have daily job of directing and producing movies. Did I say fabric and color? Yes, I love fashion design too. Is it possible to all these things at once? I don’t know but I know my heart is there. I have no skills for all these things except some way-way unfinished songs and ideas for movies.

But I write one script, isn’t that a milestone? I don’t know how I am going to make it in those industries I have mentioned but I pray I do. I am normally a coward who doesn’t want to take risks but those industries require you to take risks big time. I will get there. Life is too short to be wasted fantasizing and not doing. I owe it to myself to achieve.

As for my blog, I see it soaring way up there like an eagle but what I am writing right now still does not match the thoughts I have in mind. Nevertheless I will get there. Let me go back to studying, it is exam time. I can’t simply moan right now, it is a wrong wrong time. I love you all and thank you for taking your time to read my blog. I hope you will like this one and I hope you share it with friends too.

I love you all.

From me to you, Stay loving, Stay loved. Stay blessing, Stay blessed. God bless you all.

Announcement

Hi I have changed my blog back to it’s old name although I expanded it a bit. It was named MemoirsofKarynD but now it is Memoirsofkaryndimpho. The rest of the things remain the same too. Do not forget to share the blog with friends and family. My tagline is KarynDimpho so that evryone should recognise it.

I love you all, thank you for reading and following. Let’s hit 1000 followers and I can only do it only with your support. Please share the blog 🙂 🙂

poetry by Harvey 2

I wish I did not wish

Be careful what you wish for.

Been there but I regret my wish.

As a child it was my wish to know my father

I thought the pain of not having a father will be erased But nah

I furthered the pain far beyond my reach

I thought my life was a mess without a father figure.

Only to figure out it was gonna get more mess up

Now am asking the pain for mercy

How I wish I did not wish.

Some stones are better left unturned

All I wanted was the truth

But it was not what I expected

Because it brought me pain

I been trying to figure out how to heal

It brought pains to my mother

It brought pains to my family

It brought pains to those I love

It brought pains to myself,

pain I brought apon my self

Not all fathers that brought a child to the world deserve to be called a father.

By Harvey Nkoana

 

Untitled

You said you know me well

And I asked how well do you know me

I was very amazed for you to say you know me

I asked my self how can you know me while I don’t know my self

 

I am a person with many sides

Everyday I discover side a I never knew

I call that self discovery

If you say you know me,

You know the good and happy side of mine

You don’t know the bad and sad side of mine

 

I choose to show people my good and happy side

Because I want them to do the same

Know one knows what I go through when am alone and in my own world

No one knows how anger transform me into a monster

 

Am happy I always manage to go back to the good person I am

I can’t claim I am the one who always manage to make my self happy

But with the mercy of the merciful Lord

Who been good to me since I was born,

I manage.

 

Caring a lot really does hurt

Caring a lot really does hurt. You realise much and you hurt. Those who are careless always do bad things but because they don’t care they live a light life. Caring is supposed to beautiful but it is funnily not easy and heavy. I don’t want to wear tight fit dresses simply because the belly. You know why, I have seen someone with a flat stomach and realised how gorgeous they looked and that’s it my world fell apart. As for my confidence it was thrown out the window.

Remember that time you stressed because you have a pimple? Where your whole confidence was shaken just because your skin was  not flawless? It’s crazy right but it happens. Rememeber that time you were walking around your university campus during exam time without books and all students were walking around with books and you stressed that you were not studying while others did. You do study but just because a bunch of students were carrying books made you feel like you are not. Some of us can even spot that our belly fat increased by a milimeter.

Caring too much really hurt. This is because when you care , you realise and when you realise something you react to it. I know carrying is good and should be a trait all of us contain but sometimes it does hurt.

Choosy

index

He was a very cute face but he lacked muscles and so she did not want him. That one wore baggy layered clothes and that turned her off. He had tattoos all over him and she disliked all men with such, she regarded them as dirty and uncool. As for that one he had the body she wanted but his voice was too soprano for someone with testosterone in him. Oh he sure as needed classes about dress code; he dressed like a hooligan.

Day after day, night after night she was lonely with her list of the traits of the right man. She walked in her suave clothes, with her eyes wide open to Google her potential ‘perfect man’… but her eyes could only spot the negatives. “Maybe if we hooked you up with Pat, he would make such a good man. You are getting old “. She wouldn’t mind him but his job was of lower standard than hers and so she feared disrespecting him.

poetry by Harvey

Grandmother

You gone to soon

You gone without a good bye

All I’m left with are

Memories

Wishes

And hopes

You been there for me since day one.

You been with me while my mother was not there for me

But she was away to be there for me

In a different way ,

She hustled to provide for me

But not only me , for both of us

You been there while I had no father

Because I really did not have a father

I had a father at the age of two

You were my grandmother and my father too

 

All I wish is that I had spent a lot more time with you

Than we did

And I wish to make you proud

Not only you but my parents and all people

But mostly I want to make my self proud

You gone to soon

See you in the next life

Written by Harvey Nkoana

 

Love conquires all.

They Say love conquers it all.

Well I disagree.

Am I allowed to be free?

You will argue or agree.

If love really conquers it all,

Why do we cheat?

If love is so strong as concrete my words would be as sweet as candy.

Why do we cheat?

Why can’t we be loyal?

Why can’t we be faithful?

Why can’t we love our partners?

Or Is it true that there is no love?

It’s just a blueprint that blind hearts and minds.

Why am I crying facing this wall?

I wanna stand tall,

love keeps knocking me down but i crawl.

i wanna stand tall but i fall.

If love really conquers it all,

Why can’t it conquers cheating?

Why can’t it conquers lying?

Why can’t it conquers all the secrecy?

Why can’t it conquers all the divorces?

How many relationships have fallen down the drain?

Why does love drain all our energy?

Why does it leave us heart broken?

Why can’t it conquers all the misery?

And let us leave a happy life?

Why love…

Written by Harvey Nkoana

 

The artificial everything

images

He told her they were going on a holiday and being over excited she went and prepared for this awesome trip. She had a beautiful weave done on her, and she immediately rushed to put on the best of nails in one of the best salon in her town. She slept over at his place during the weekends and during the week at her parents’ house. She spent all her savings to get all this done and she packed her bag bag filled with the most gorgeous of clothes and went to him.

He seemed so tired throughout the rest of that night and she understood; he was from work. By the time it was morning she was already awake and ready to go where the holiday will lead, he did not tell her where they were going. She prepared everything needed to go on the trip. She went on to make sure her hair is still on point, her nails are also on fleek and that her make-up is drop dead gorgeous. He was in the kitchen waiting for her, she came and it was time to hit the road. He was on the phone and she showed up looking amzingly beautiful. He looked at her and after a few minutes of doing so, he told her to go back and change everything because he was not going anywhere with a doll.

The artificial hair,

The artificial nails,

The make-up…

He did not like it.

After wasting all her savings.

This is my response to the Daily post https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/artificial/